Every Constellation weekend seems to develop a theme. In April’s it was of children disconnected from their birth families. A participant who was adopted reveals some of her story below.
Secrets, the things that cannot be spoken.
Jackie's Story
It wasn’t till I was eight that I was told I had been adopted.
It was an enormous shock, so much that I could not remember the telling, only that my behaviour changed overnight.
After that one time, the adoption was never spoken of again.
When I was sexually abused between the ages of eleven and fourteen by a close family member, I couldn’t tell anyone.
When I was eighteen I was raped at work and again I felt I couldn’t tell anybody.
I have had many problems including depression.
I was in therapy for ten years, but it wasn’t until I met Sarasi that I realised how important my birth family was.
I never thought they would have such a huge impact on my life when they had never seemed part of it.
She encouraged me to find out as much as I could.
Extraordinary things I discovered.
When I did my Constellation, my great aunt’s death by accidental shooting looked like no accident, but rather a cover up of a rape.
A secret was born and carried through generation to generation – it happened to my birth mum, my aunt and then me, all at 17-18. I was conceived from rape and she kept the pregnancy a secret until she went into labour!
The whole Constellation experience was mind blowing - it made sense out of something that had no sense.
It’s the feelings that are so real that make it so true and straight to the heart.
I would like to do another Constellation in the future.
Being part of the whole process was like an intensive course in how to ‘be’ and ‘feel’ real.
I look forward to the next time, in an environment that promotes everything human and where love and compassion is the norm.
A sincere thank you Sarasi for letting me come into your home - it was awesome.
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